Hayu Urang Ngadongeng

Sore tadi saya masih duduk manis di ruang rapat MI. Ada presentasi IT. Menarik, orangnya smart. Tapi perut saya keroncongan inget baso tahu yang belum sempet dimakan. Tiba-tiba teman-teman dari TK agak kasak-kusuk hingga sampailah ke telinga saya.

"Anaknya Ibu Saidah ... meninggal .."

Sontak saya terhenyak, karena dari cerita teman-teman saya tahu anak itu usianya baru sembilan bulan. Lagi lucu-lucunya. Dada saya jadi sesak. Sembilan bulan adalah usia dimana anak biasanya belajar berjalan dan belajar ngomong. Bagaimana rasanya? Sedangkan saya saja langsung merasakan mata saya memanas.

Setiap kali menyaksikan kematian (meski tidak secara langsung) saya selalu merasa 'nyelek' .. betapa tidak, biasanya disibukkan dengan perkara dunia jadi terasa 'keselek biji kedondong' saking shock-nya (tersadar lebih tepatnya) bahwa saya takkan selamanya ada di dunia ini.

Khususnya ketika mendengar kematian anak yang masih kecil atau orang yang masih muda, saya jadi berkaca-kaca. Tersadar bahwa pada dasarnya anak adalah titipan Allah. Begitu juga suami, orangtua, teman-teman dan diri kita sendiri. Suatu hari, ketika Allah memanggil kembali milik-Nya, tak ada satupun yang bisa menghalangi.

Pertanyaannya adalah; siapkah saya??
Siapkah saya ketika Allah memanggil kaka, uni atau ade, atau anak yang ada dalam perut ini??

Akankah saya protes? Sedangkan mereka juga saya dapatkan dari-Nya?
Saya bayangkan tentu Bu Saidah teman saya itu melalui proses yang sama dengan saya. Mengandung 9 bulan dan melahirkan. Tentu dalam perjalanan hamil dan melahirkan ia pasti menngalami kesusahan sekaligus kebahagiaan karena akan mendapatkan momongan.

Saya bayangkan pasti matanya berbinar ketika pertamakali menggendong dan memeluk anaknya. Karena saya juga begitu. Kalau ada orang yang tanya:
"Bagaimana rasanya punya anak?"

Pasti saya takkan bisa menjawab. Karena perasaan itu, perasaan ketika saya memeluk dan menciumnya, memandikan, menyusui dan menidurkannya, tak ada bandingannya dengan apapun juga.

Malam ini dada saya masih sakit. Tapi bagaimanapun suatu hari saya harus siap. Entah meninggalkan atau ditinggalkan.

Wallahu'alam.

I haven't had my period since April. Well, it didn't bother me so much cause I do have irregular cycle. But then, my skirt felt so tight, I became fatter, and fatter. Good gracious, I always wanted to be fatter (I was so skinny) but indeed it doesn't comfortable. You see, fat makes you hard to breath, urge you to buy new clothes, cause the old were not fit anymore.

Back to the problem, I felt that I pregnant. Yesterday, I went to a gynechologist and have myself checked. The result is; the baby is already 5 weeks in my womb.

This is a surprise. Even though I have thought about it, still I rather shocked. And I feel little bit guilty, I am afraid the baby will feel that he or she (?) is being rejected. I accept this pregnancy, I think this is the best arrangement Allah given me.

Then, there will be, and there must be some changing plans. Before, I plan to have a fast track on my study, and I'll do whatever necessary for the succeed of my works. Now, all must wait. Like a movie, those things must slowing down .. must be on slow motion ..

and that has everything to do with this baby ..

Welcome aboard honey ..

In "THE DARK KNIGHT" movie (if you've watched) I remember a dialogue between Bruce Wayne A.K.A Batman and Alfred, his loyal assistant (or maid?). Wayne was puzzled with all of brutal things done by THE JOKER, and Alfred told him his experience in Cambodia. The dialogue below is as far as I can remember.

"This bandit stole lots of diamonds. We've been looking for them all over the place but then we saw a little boy played with the valuable stone in his hand." said Alfred.

"So, what is this bandit after then?" asked Wayne, more confuse.

"Well, you see, there are some men who just wanted to see this world in chaos. They were not looking for money, for fame or anything .. they just want to make a catastrophe .. "

The sentence uttered by Alfred is the one suited with what I feel today concerning the Jakarta Bombing, couple of days ago. You know, the ones in Marriot and Ritz-Carlton Hotels (I hope you keep up with news).

Whatever reasons they have, whatever group they come from, I just can see them as bandits. Nothing more. If they called themselves as moslem extreme group, than I want to say to them, "So you guys think that you're going to heaven? Give me a break .."

There is no one, no one in this world has any right to kill another man, let alone bunch of people. This terrorist action really make me upset. Wanna know why?

Number one : I really wanna see The MU versus Indonesia All Star (even though I am not a soccer freak). Man, this is like one in a lifetime chance, even if we already know which one is the winner.

Number two : This thing will make us (me and other muslimah) again, a target of suspicion. Since the beginning, I cannot count how many people looked at me with prejudice, just because I wear longer veil than others. So many persons misjudged me .. hello??

Number Three : If this is done by moslem extremist, well congratulation; once again you guys have put all of us AGAIN as barbarian, violence-lover tribes ..

God, can we just settle down and talk about it?? This is not Jerusalem, which I can accept the fact where Palestinian still fought the Israeli. That's different story.

If this "Bozo" people want to have a war, why don't they go to war place, where they can be some advantages??

For crying out loud .. please people .. open your heart and ask yourself, "Is this what you really want?"

Waktu kecil salah satu buku favorit saya adalah serial asrama karya Enid Blyton, Mallory Towers dan St Claire. Ceritanya mengetengahkan tentang anak-anak yang bersekolah di sekolah khas Inggris yang berasrama. Anak-anak tersebut datang dari latar belakang yang berbeda-beda, namun pada akhirnya mereka akan berhasil menemukan jati diri mereka dengan cara yang (menurut saya pada waktu itu) hebat sekali.
Percaya atau tidak, di tempat kerja, saya seakan mengalami de-ja-vu. Lembar-lembar Enid Blyton kembali membuat saya terkagum-kagum. Bedanya, kali ini saya tidak membacanya, melainkan langsung mengalaminya. Begini ceritanya.

Sekolah kami dipandang orang sebagai sekolah elit. Tentu karena mereka tahu anak-anak di sekolah kami harus membayar SPP yang jauh lebih besar dibanding sekolah lain pada umumnya. Setiap tahun ajaran baru sekolah kami akan menutup pendaftaran di awal, karena banyaknya peminat yang ingin masuk. Di satu sisi tentu saja membanggakan, namun di sisi lain juga kami harus terus menjaga kualitas kami hingga nama yang sudah bagus tak jadi lekang karena penurunan kinerja.

Diantara sekian banyak murid di sekolah kami, khususnya tingkat menengah atas, ada beberapa diantaranya yang 'extraordinary'. Tentu artinya luar biasa. Saya sebut begitu karena anak-anak ini merupakan anak-anak yang merebut lebih banyak fokus perhatian kami. Mereka adalah anak-anak yang rata-rata sering berpindah sekolah karena ketidakcocokkan, atau anak-anak yang memiliki watak 'berbeda' sehingga orangtua mereka berharap kami dapat membantu mereka membuat 'bedanya' mereka menjadi lebih baik.

Tentu Anda mengerti maksud saya. Anak-anak seperti itu bagi guru pada umumnya pasti akan dianggap nightmare. Anda akan menemukan mereka (biasanya) duduk di bangku paling belakang, tidak diperhatikan guru bahkan teman-teman mereka.

Jangan menganggap kami seperti guru pada umumnya yang akan (juga) menempatkan mereka seperti itu. Tapi jangan juga menganggap kami guru super yang akan langsung mengubah mereka jadi anak-anak manis penurut hanya dalam hitungan hari. Kami memang berbeda dari guru pada umumnya, mungkin karena kami punya semangat dan tekad (didukung jam pembelajaran yang lebih panjang) untuk mengamalkan ilmu kami dan kami memang sangat menghargai proses. Tak jadi soal perubahan itu terjadi berhari-hari, berminggu atau bahkan menghabiskan dua semester lamanya.

Namun toh saya dan teman-teman juga manusia. Ketika menghadapi kelakuan mereka, kami juga mengurut dada. Kami kesal. Luar biasa memang cara anak-anak sekarang membuat guru kelabakan.

Tapi, bukan sulap bukan sihir. Alhamdulillah dengan ijin Allah anak-anak luar biasa ini hampir selalu dapat kami taklukan. Ada yang menghabiskan waktu 3 minggu, ada yang sebulan, ada yang satu semester.

Minggu ini saya 'tercengo-cengo' melihat perubahan yang terjadi pada salah seorang murid kami. Ia pernah (dan sering) membuat kami kesal dengan berbagai ulahnya. Pernah pula tercetus keinginannya untuk pindah sekolah. Saya sendiri sempat merasa hopeless, saya merasa, kayaknya ni anak ga bakalan mungkin berubah.

Tapi ternyata, miracle does happen. Minggu ini saya melihatnya bermetamorfosa menjadi anak yang baru. Si anak baru ini begitu mandiri, dewasa dan bertanggungjawab. Dengan tanpa ragu ia mengatur adik-adik kelasnya (acara MOS pastinya) dengan tegas dan tanpa lelah ia bekerja untuk menyukseskan acara.

Saya sontak membicarakannya dengan teman-teman. Kami sepakat mengambil kesimpulan bahwa ia mungkin hanya butuh sedikit penghargaan. Dengan tergabungnya ia dalam kepanitiaan MOS, mungkin ia merasa diakui, dibutuhkan, diperhatikan.

Saya tidak bermaksud mengatakan guru-guru di tempat lain tidak sebagus kami. No, saya yakin semua orang yang mendedikasikan dirinya menjadi guru, pada hari ia bersumpah (kalau ada sumpah pengangkatan) pasti ia sudah berjanji akan mengabdikan dirinya, mengamalkan ilmunya dan menjadikan murid-muridnya sebagai jalan ia ke surga. Seperti layaknya para calon dokter yang mengucapkan sumpah Hipocrates.

Yang ingin saya garisbawahi disini adalah, murid adalah manusia. Ia bukan benda yang tak bereaksi. Ia manusia yang terdiri dari darah dan daging. Ia bukan hanya bisa dijejali dan dibentak untuk dapat mengeluarkan jawaban yang kita harapkan. Ia manusia dengan perasaan dan kebutuhan. Ia tak hanya butuh ilmu kita, tapi juga kasih sayang kita. Ia tidak bodoh, tapi ia sering disebut bodoh. Yang bodoh justru kita yang tak memahami bagaimana seharusnya ia dipicu untuk bisa pintar.

Yah, tapi guru juga manusia. Sama saja. Tapi toh guru lebih dewasa dari murid. Secara ilmu maupun usia. Kalau pun ada pihak yang harus mengalah, rasanya kita tak perlu mempertanyakan lagi pihak yang manakah itu.

OK, saya sebaiknya kembali ke tumpukan buku saya. Siapa tahu ada cerita bijak lainnya seperti Enid Blyton.

Sebentar saya mau cek John Grisham dulu ya ...

Pagi ini seperti biasa sebelum memulai hari-hari kami yang super keren di sekolah keren, kami mengobrol ceria kesana kemari. Salah satunya, yang akan saya ceritakan di sini dialami oleh salah seorang orangtua murid kami di MI.

Ada salah seorang orangtua murid di sekolah kami (kami punya dari level TK hingga MA) yang anaknya akan melanjutkan pendidikan ke tingkat SMP. Sama seperti orangtua pada umumnya, tentu beliau ingin menyekolahkan putranya itu ke sekolah "favorit", maka berangkatlah mereka ke sebuah "SMP favorit" di kota Bandung.

Sesampainya di sana, si ortu murid yang notabene adalah seorang musisi band yang terkenal di Indonesia bertemu dengan panitia penerimaan siswa baru. Singkat cerita, saya tak tahu bagaimana prosesnya karena bagian ini tak diceritakan dan memang mungkin ga rame.

So, tiba-tiba ada seorang guru (saya asumsikan dia adalah panitia penerimaan siswa baru) yang berbisik pada si orangtua murid, "Pak, kebetulan lho saya belum punya laptop .."

Anda semua pasti mengerti dengan kalimat ini. Tak usah terkecoh dengan menyangka si guru menawarkan laptop atau mengajak membeli laptop bareng-bareng. Sontak si ortu murid berpikir, "Ah, cuma laptop mah keciiil .." mungkin seperti juga orang-orang lain, beliau ingin membahagiakan anaknya walau dengan begitu.

Anda juga pasti mengerti jika saya menjadi mual mendengar cerita ini. Bagaimana tidak, seorang guru tega-teganya menjual harga dirinya dengan cara seperti itu. Dan karena saya juga guru, mmmh ... (Ya Allah, kuatkan hamba di jalan-Mu ..)

Nah, tapi cerita kita belum selesai. Si anak tiba-tiba merengek pada ayahnya untuk membeli minuman di luar. Di luar gedung sekolahlah kemudian si anak berkata pada ayahnya,
"Yah, aku ga mau sekolah di sini .."
"Loh kenapa?" ayahnya bingung.
"Soalnya aku diterima pasti karena ayah mau membelikan laptop buat si guru itu ..."

Alhasil, si anak tak jadi mendaftar ke sekolah tersebut.
Saya jadi tercenung .. si anak telah memberikan pelajaran yang begitu berharga bagi saya.
Sanggup tidak, kita sebagai orang yang lebih dewasa seperti itu??

One of my friend at school (school where I teach now), well she was teaching at school (she has moved to Bogor) asked her former students to write about their school teachers. She inspired me to write about my own teacher.

My first unforgettable teacher was Mrs. Anny at elementary school. She taught me at 5th and 6th grade. She was special for me because she is really different with my other teachers. For a teacher at that time (1980s), she was genuine. She taught many things that still peculiar at that time. I cannot recall every single thing she taught, but one word for her is : sophisticate!!

One thing I most remember about her appearance was that she always wore a pair of skin-color thighs. When I was that age (9/10 years old) it was quite odd to see a woman with thigh cause it is usually worn by "popular woman" (if you understand what I mean).

Mrs. Anny was the one who told me to improve my English. It was also strange to me, because at that time I did not know that the English I learned from my mother would be something valuable for me in the future.

Mrs. Anny was my teacher. I said was because she already passed away in 1992 (if I am not mistaken) when I was in junior high. She died because of the brain-cancer after previously left by her husband (for the same disease). I was touched when I came to pay my last respect for her. Not only because of her disappearance, but also because she apparently lived in a very shabby (sorry to say) house. How I had to sigh to see it.

My second outstanding teacher is Mrs. Yoyoh at junior high school. She taught Sundanese which is only given 2 hours a week, but she is more popular than math or science teacher. She was popular because she was severe. There was no bad kid in my school who was not scare of her. She liked to punch the bad kid and yelled at him or her.

I only taught by Mrs. Yoyoh on my last year. But it was a very unforgettable year. She often told us tales, which made us LOL (a really laughter out loud). But don't try to be undiscipline or she would punish you. I, myself was slapped by her when I forgot to wear my hat on ceremony day.

I like Mrs. Yoyoh not only because of her stories, but also because I always get 9 for my sundanese. Of course that was because my ability, not because her slap on my cheek ...

My favorite teacher in senior high school was the one and only Mr. Bimo Prakoso. He taught chemistry (big surprise, huh?). I was charmed by his brightness (he is totally smart!!) so I learned hard for chemistry. It is extremely a MUST to like the teacher to be able to master the knowledge .. I have proven that ...

Mr. Bimo was an ordinary man (in appearance) but very extraordinary in science and knowledge. When he talked, no one would say or look other way but to listen to him carefully. He was a magnet. He was our clown (coz all of his stories are funny - guaranteed). He was like encyclopedia (coz all of his knowledges made us all stunned).

Unfortunately, Mr. Bimo was no longer with us. He only taught us 1 or 2 years. But still, he is one of the brightest person I ever seen in my life.

In the university, unlike other friends, I adore a severe lecturer. She was hated by many persons because of her cruelty. She was Madame Oom. I could not tell you here how a lot of my friends hated her because of something that I also could not tell here. What I'm gonna tell you is her special thing that made me admire her.

Like you already knew (maybe) I really give a big respect to those who have vast knowledge. Mme. Oom is one of them. She is really bright. Totally smart, and I like the way she conduct the teaching situation, although sometimes she was annoying .. upps!!

Those people I write here are the most unforgettable teachers in my life. It does not mean that I ignore the others, but you see, to be remembered by your students, you must be unique, fresh and extraordinary.

I am a teacher now. I just hope that one day one or two of my students (hopefully all .. hehe) will remember me as I remember my former teachers now.

The question is:
Will they remember me as unforgettable teacher in positive or negative mean?

Haha ..

There are two big things that I thought about lately. One, is the announcement for S2 in UPI (which I hope for so much), and two, is two months-late of my period which led to a test pack (which made my heart beating faster). fiuuuh ...

There is one thing I want to buy, badly. That is books (which you all may figured out). After several times I manage and re-manage my bookshelves, I came to a conclusion that I do, running out new books to read.

There is one thing I must do as soon as possible. This might be everybody's nightmare (at work), that is : making book or module. Arrrgh ...

There is one kind of food I will eat for lunch. One of them is fruit salad or 'rujak', this is maybe due to the late of my "period" (or maybe this is just my imagination; coz like it or not, I always eat ... )